Nursery Pick Up Lines

Nursery Girl: We’re dancing, so we’re married! Married people hug each other.
Nursery Boy: Okay. [hugs] Married people kiss each other…
Nursery Teacher: Uh, no, we don’t do that in Primary.

Overheard by: Zstitches


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Embrace Me

4-year-old boy bearing testimony: I’m so glad Daddy gave Mommy a special hug so my sister and I could be born.

Overheard by: BearHug


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Hygienist, Machinist, and Venus

Mom: Tonight we are reading from the book of Enos.
4-year-old who is learning rhyming words: [giggle] That rhymes with penis.
Mom: Scripture time is over.

Overheard by: Drama Momma


You're missing some good ones. We've Moved... To see all the new posts, please visit the new Overheard In The Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

Oh, I Love That Song!

Bishopric member announcing the opening song at Christmas time: After that… we will sing With Wandering Eye

Overheard by: Jess


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And Duct Tape Yourself Down

Recently Returned Missionary: I don’t think it’s enough to hold to the Iron Rod. I think you need to straddle it.

Overheard by: Giddyup


You're missing some good ones. We've Moved... To see all the new posts, please visit the new Overheard In The Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

Wait… Mom Is A Democrat

Primary boy to dad: Dad am I a democrat or republican?
Dad: Republican.
Boy: Why?
Dad: Because democrats lie.
Boy: Oh, so when I was three, I was a democrat?

Overheard by: Honest Abe


You're missing some good ones. We've Moved... To see all the new posts, please visit the new Overheard In The Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

Countenance and Continence

Sister in Relief Society: After I became a member of the church, members would tell me that my continence had changed.

Overheard by: Janae

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You're Missing Some Good Ones

You're missing some good ones. We've Moved... To see all the new posts, please visit the new Overheard In The Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

She Has Better Teeth

Elder: I totally think the blond Eve is hotter than the brunette Eve…

Overheard by: Doster

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If It Helps Your Nerves I Guess

Very tan young women giving talk: As you can all see… I’m totally toasted from this past weekend.
Man whispering: Wish I’d thought of that before I gave MY talk…

Overheard by: Queen Migraine

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Fast and Testimony Therapy Session

Sister bearing testimony: I’m so grateful for my adopted parents, they raised me well and I know that I’ll always love them more than my real mother. I don’t care who she is because she didn’t want me so I don’t want her. I’ll never want her….

Overheard by: Charity Never Faileth

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And Robbing Old Ladies

Boy bearing testimony: I’m thankful for Church and that we are all here today because if we weren’t here… ummm… we might be out robbing a casino or something.

Overheard by: Kirstin

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And be a size 4?

Sharing Time chorister: When we are resurrected we will all become perfect.
Girl raising hand: Will be all be blonds?

Overheard by: Caren

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We're Growing Up!

Thanks for all your submissions. We're laughing our heads off. We've grown up and have moved over to our own domain. Check out the new and improved Overheard in the Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

For the next while, we'll continue to post new quotes here as well as on the new site. Make sure you change your bookmarks!

Thanks,

The Overheard in the Ward Team

And a Side of Fries

Boy in sacrament meeting: Bread and water. Bread and water. That's all they ever give us. I want a hot dog.

Overheard by: Tristi