Overheard In The Ward

Nursery Pick Up Lines

2008-11-06T08:53:00.000-07:00

Nursery Girl: We’re dancing, so we’re married! Married people hug each other.
Nursery Boy: Okay. [hugs] Married people kiss each other…
Nursery Teacher: Uh, no, we don’t do that in Primary.

Overheard by: Zstitches

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Embrace Me

2008-11-03T08:22:00.000-07:00

4-year-old boy bearing testimony: I’m so glad Daddy gave Mommy a special hug so my sister and I could be born.

Overheard by: BearHug

You're missing some good ones. We've Moved... To see all the new posts, please visit the new Overheard In The Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

Hygienist, Machinist, and Venus

2008-10-31T10:05:00.000-06:00

Mom: Tonight we are reading from the book of Enos.
4-year-old who is learning rhyming words: [giggle] That rhymes with penis.
Mom: Scripture time is over.

Overheard by: Drama Momma

You're missing some good ones. We've Moved... To see all the new posts, please visit the new Overheard In The Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

Oh, I Love That Song!

2008-10-29T08:36:00.000-06:00

Bishopric member announcing the opening song at Christmas time: After that… we will sing With Wandering Eye

Overheard by: Jess

You're missing some good ones. We've Moved... To see all the new posts, please visit the new Overheard In The Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

And Duct Tape Yourself Down

2008-10-29T08:35:00.000-06:00

Recently Returned Missionary: I don’t think it’s enough to hold to the Iron Rod. I think you need to straddle it.

Overheard by: Giddyup

You're missing some good ones. We've Moved... To see all the new posts, please visit the new Overheard In The Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

Wait… Mom Is A Democrat

2008-10-27T10:38:00.000-06:00

Primary boy to dad: Dad am I a democrat or republican?
Dad: Republican.
Boy: Why?
Dad: Because democrats lie.
Boy: Oh, so when I was three, I was a democrat?

Overheard by: Honest Abe

You're missing some good ones. We've Moved... To see all the new posts, please visit the new Overheard In The Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

Countenance and Continence

2008-10-24T21:49:00.000-06:00

Sister in Relief Society: After I became a member of the church, members would tell me that my continence had changed.

Overheard by: Janae

We've Moved... Visit the new Overheard In The Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

You're Missing Some Good Ones

2008-10-24T21:46:00.001-06:00

You're missing some good ones. We've Moved... To see all the new posts, please visit the new Overheard In The Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

She Has Better Teeth

2008-10-24T21:44:00.000-06:00

Elder: I totally think the blond Eve is hotter than the brunette Eve…

Overheard by: Doster

We've Moved... Visit the new Overheard In The Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

If It Helps Your Nerves I Guess

2008-10-20T21:31:00.000-06:00

Very tan young women giving talk: As you can all see… I’m totally toasted from this past weekend.
Man whispering: Wish I’d thought of that before I gave MY talk…

Overheard by: Queen Migraine

We've Moved... Visit the new Overheard In The Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

Fast and Testimony Therapy Session

2008-10-17T17:24:00.001-06:00

Sister bearing testimony: I’m so grateful for my adopted parents, they raised me well and I know that I’ll always love them more than my real mother. I don’t care who she is because she didn’t want me so I don’t want her. I’ll never want her….

Overheard by: Charity Never Faileth

We've Moved... Visit the new Overheard In The Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

And Robbing Old Ladies

2008-10-17T17:22:00.000-06:00

Boy bearing testimony: I’m thankful for Church and that we are all here today because if we weren’t here… ummm… we might be out robbing a casino or something.

Overheard by: Kirstin

We've Moved... Visit the new Overheard In The Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

And be a size 4?

2008-10-17T17:20:00.002-06:00

Sharing Time chorister: When we are resurrected we will all become perfect.
Girl raising hand: Will be all be blonds?

Overheard by: Caren

We've Moved... Visit the new Overheard In The Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

We're Growing Up!

2008-10-17T10:18:00.001-06:00

Thanks for all your submissions. We're laughing our heads off. We've grown up and have moved over to our own domain. Check out the new and improved Overheard in the Ward at OverheardInTheWard.com

For the next while, we'll continue to post new quotes here as well as on the new site. Make sure you change your bookmarks!

Thanks,

The Overheard in the Ward Team

And a Side of Fries

2008-10-13T09:25:00.000-06:00

Boy in sacrament meeting: Bread and water. Bread and water. That's all they ever give us. I want a hot dog.

Overheard by: Tristi

Directions? Elections? Imperfections?

2008-10-13T09:23:00.000-06:00

Sunbeam singing Follow the Prophet: We can get... erections... along the way.

Overheard by: Rachael

And Opening Prayer By Brother Archuleta

2008-10-13T09:21:00.000-06:00

Primary Pres: Next, we will have a scripture by Bro. Cook.
4-year-old on front row: Cook! That is the name of the American Idol!

Overheard by: Ramona

Go To Your... Closet?

2008-10-13T09:17:00.000-06:00

Child in sacrament meeting: [cry... sniffle... whine...]
Dad as he takes child out: Save it for the closet.

Overheard by: Ramona

Do As I'm Doing Goes Horribly Wrong

2008-10-11T15:32:00.000-06:00

Sunbeam Teacher: What else can we sing about? Billy, what do YOU do with your hands?
Sunbeam: Play with my winkie!
Sunbeam Teacher: Oh... my... well, we can't sing about how fun that is to do... how about we sing about washing our hands?

Overheard by: Shocked Teacher

Because they aren't as good that way...

2008-10-11T15:15:00.003-06:00

Teacher during sharing time: Give me an example of some things that are good for us that we should eat?
Boy: Well... we shouldn't eat live dogs, we should kill them first.

Overheard by: Amanda

And she has a mustache...

2008-10-11T15:13:00.002-06:00

Boy during primary program: I can't remember my part.
[Primary 1st Counselor gets up to help him and starts whispering in her ear]
Boy: Teacher! Teacher! Can you please come and help me? This lady's breath stinks!

Overheard by: Jillene

And The Bishop Jumped Off The Stand

2008-10-11T15:10:00.004-06:00

Dad: I am taking you out.
Son: NO! I'll be good!
Dad: That's what you keep telling me but I am still taking you out.
Son as they reach the chapel doors: Help me Bishop!

Overheard by: Jillene

The Sunbeam Mix Down Mega Post

2008-10-11T15:07:00.001-06:00

Sharing time lady: What would happen if you were riding your bike and you crashed, BUT you were wearing your helmet?
Sunbeam: You'd bwake your arms!

Primary Chorister: Who was our first Propeht in the latter days?
Sunbeam: He'nly Fadder, Deedis Chrise (Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ)
Primary Chorister: Good guess, but not exactly. Here's another hint. He prayed in the Sacred Grove
Sunbeam: He'nly Fadder, Deedis Chrise

Teacher in the 4-year-old class: What happens when you get baptized?
Distracted 4-year-old: I like Garbage trucks!

Teacher trying to get her kids to settle down: Will you please sit here in your own space?
Witty 5 year old: Space has rockets!!!

Frustrated mother: Will you please stop playing with the Hymn books?
3 year old: Well, can I play with the HER books?

Overheard by: Delighted Primary Chorister

Just wait for the second verse...

2008-10-10T15:12:00.002-06:00

Sunbeam singing: I am a child of God, and she has sent me here. Has given me a lot of time, and parents kind of dear...

Overheard by: The Kind-of-Dear Mother

Tell That to the Sixties

2008-10-10T14:46:00.002-06:00

Teacher: Nothing good ever came from drugs.
Man on back row whispers: What about Bob Marley?

Overheard by: Ken

Don't cross your eyes. They'll stick that way.

2008-10-07T21:59:00.000-06:00

Sunbeam teacher to class: What do your parents always tell you to do?
Sunbeam #1: Be nice to your brother.
Sunbeam #2: Say your prayers.
Sunbeam #3 pausing before answering: Go to your room.

Overheard by: Doug

The ultrasound screen must have been HUGE

2008-10-07T21:55:00.000-06:00

Pregnant woman bearing testimony of her yet-to-be-born-child: ...and he has a [edit] the size of Texas! ...I'm so grateful that my son will be so well endowed.

Overheard by: JMadsen

Dad? Did you submit this one?

2008-10-07T21:53:00.000-06:00

3-year-old being escorted out of sacrament meeting: Please Daddy! Don't Spank Me! I'll be good!

Overheard by: Tait

But You Can Call Me Hey-Suess

2008-10-05T08:09:00.000-06:00

Boy #1: I got baptised last week
Boy #2: you did?
Boy #1: Yep , and I got my name changed when I got baptised, I took on the name of Christ.
Boy #2: huh??!!
Boy #1: Yep , so you can call me Christ now if ya want too.
Boy #2: OK, pass me a crayon, Christ.

Submitted by: The "Sub"

It always comes back to poop, pee, or boogers

2008-10-04T22:08:00.001-06:00

While Exiting Priesthood Session: Lift where you stand? My dad had a phrase like that... push where you squat.

Overheard by: Numero Dos

And I wandered in the kitchen for 40 years

2008-10-04T22:04:00.000-06:00

During Testimony Meeting: I haven't been coming to church in a while... I've been watching Music and the Spoken Word. It's kind of like when Moses was up on Mt. Sinai. I've been on my own personal Mt. Sinai.

Overheard by: Jackie

The Day of Rest and Tighty Whiteys

2008-10-02T20:17:00.003-06:00

Five-year-old Girl On Keeping The Sabbath Day Holy: My dad doesn't come to church... He's stays home and watches T.V. in his underwear.

Overheard by: Help me Randa

When Captain Moroni Meets Captain America

2008-09-30T21:47:00.003-06:00

Primary President: And Ty's favorite scripture hero is Nephi.
Ty: No it's not!
Primary President: Oh, who is it?
Ty: Spiderman!

Overheard by: Wonder Woman

No. My dad is a lawyer.

2008-09-30T12:54:00.000-06:00

Primary President: Dad's teach us how to do all sorts of things, like work. Do your dads teach you how to work?
CTR 8 Mortician's Son: You mean on DEAD PEOPLE!?

Overheard by: Meagan

Thomas S. Monson W. Bush

2008-09-30T12:52:00.000-06:00

Primary President hold up picture of the prophet: This is the President of the Church. What is his name?
Sunbeam Loudly: George W. Bush!

Overheard by: Meagan

Judge Judy Goes To Primary

2008-09-30T08:35:00.000-06:00

Judge discussing laws vs. commandments in Sharing Time: What are some laws that I enforce?
Primary Kid #1: No speeding.
Primary Kid #2: No stealing.
Sunbeam: No marrying your brother.

Overheard by: Ohhh Mandy!

Missionary Idol

2008-09-27T14:11:00.001-06:00

Sister giving sacrament meeting talk: I love David Archuleta like I love Elder Holland.

Overheard by: Brother Cowell

Do they make pediatric Rogaine?

2008-09-27T11:48:00.001-06:00

Primary Counselor holding up potted plant: What does this plant need to grow?
Child #1: Air
Child #2: Sunshine
Child #3: Water
Primary Counselor holding up 4-month-old: What does this baby need to grow?
Child #1: Love
Child #2: Milk
Child #3: Hair!

Overheard by: Tiffany

And here is a complete list...

2008-09-26T15:48:00.001-06:00

Man bearing testimony: I've been having an affair with Sister Jones*.
Sister Jones: That's a lie!
Man bearing testimony: I meant I've been having an affair with her in my heart...

Overheard by: Sunday Soap Opera-lover

I Know This Ice Is True

2008-09-23T20:56:00.000-06:00

In a testimony meeting in Norway: I knew the church was true when the Angel Moroni appeared in the frost pattern on one of my windows.

Overheard by: FiveSnows

I Know That Lingerie Is a Gift From Above

2008-09-18T22:09:00.001-06:00

Very Open EQ Teacher: I read an LDS book about intimacy and it says we should give thanks for the gift of intimacy. I'd like to bear my testimony that I know sex is not just for populating the earth. I know this from the last few months doing it with my wife.

Overheard by: Charity Never Faileth

Can I get a light for my Paper Mate?

2008-09-15T10:21:00.003-06:00

5-year-old on Front Row in Sacrament Meeting: Mommy, the Bishop is smoking a cigarette, he is going to get cancer and die, but he won't go to Heaven because Heavenly Father has told us to not smoke.
Mother: Honey, it's just a white pen.
5-year-old: No, he is smoking!

Overheard by: Janene

You Don't Want to Know What the Iron Rod Does

2008-09-12T09:14:00.001-06:00

Primary Teacher showing picture of the Good Shepherd: Who can tell me who this is?
Kid: That's Jesus with the whacker!
Primary Teacher: You mean he takes the sheep out for a walk?
Kid pointing to the shepherd's crook: No, when one of the sheep tries to get away from Jesus, he whacks them with it so they won't go!

Overheard by: NOT leaving the fold. Ever.

And The Stake President is the Boss at the End of the Level

2008-09-10T08:48:00.002-06:00

7-year-old to parent: Stake Conference is totally like a video game... I can't tell if it is real or not. It's so weird.

Overheard by: Neen Tendough

Make-A-Title

2008-09-04T10:27:00.005-06:00

(This is a Make-A-Title. Leave a title suggestion as a comment.)

4-year-old singing in Primary: Faith is trust in God, a bug...

Overheard by: AmyB

So That's Why It's So Chewy

2008-09-04T09:55:00.006-06:00

Son to mother eating Turkey Tenders Turkey Jerky: Mom, are you are going to eat that?
Mother: Sure... why not?
Son: ...
Mother: What do you think Turkey Tenders are?
Son Pointing at his Tenders: These?

Overheard by: Air In And He

Visions of The Sandlot

2008-08-25T19:03:00.002-06:00

Valiant 8 Girl #1: I had to be rescued by the lifeguard once. But it was a girl lifeguard, so it was okay.
YSA: Is it better to have a girl lifeguard?
Valiant 8 Girl #2: Yeah, cause in case they have to do that tongue thing to make you breathe again, its better to have a girl lifeguard if you are a girl.

Overheard by: Air In And Out

And Wheat Grass Juice for the Water

2008-08-25T15:13:00.006-06:00

YMP in ward council: Fine! From now on we're only going to use organic whole wheat bread for the sacrament.

Overheard by: Sister Hullfoods

And Don't Get Me Started With Apricot Trees

2008-08-22T13:26:00.001-06:00

6-year-old discussing primary songs with parents: If I'm building a house and it starts raining and flooding, I'd get on a boat and get out of there!

I Thought It Was 'In The Bedroom'

2008-08-15T16:44:00.003-06:00

Guy: You know the game where you add 'in the bathroom' after every hymn title?
Guy #2: Uhh... yeah.
Guy: My favorite is Let Us All Press On.

Overheard by: Number2

Mary Kay and Tupperware Don't Count

2008-08-12T14:32:00.001-06:00

RS Lady to RS instructor: I know I will stand blameless at the judgment bar because I never worked outside the home after I got married.

Overheard by: a Working Wife destined for H-E-double toothpicks

Beneath? Between? Before?

2008-08-12T09:49:00.001-06:00

Bishop: Do any of you know Pres. Hinckley's Be's?
Child 1: Be Nice.
Child 2: Be honest.
Child 3: Because?

Overheard by: ktmay

Do They Wear Those Cool Beer Can Hats?

2008-08-10T21:09:00.005-06:00

Sister visiting RS: ...All they wanted to do was drink alcohol, smoke, have sex and orgies...
RS Teacher: Um, thanks for your input to the lesson on establishing Zion in our homes.

Overheard by: Mortified RS Presidency

Will you still love me when I'm 84

2008-08-07T10:50:00.003-06:00

Primary President: Today we are going to learn some interesting facts about President Monson. Does anyone know how old he is? I'll give you a hint... he's pretty old.
Littlest Sunbeam: Twenty.

Overheard by: Kitchenditcher

Chalupa Claims Another One

2008-08-03T23:28:00.002-06:00

Member #1: I haven't been to the temple in a while mostly because I'm fat.
Member #2: Umm.. Oh.
Member #1: I swear those chairs and changing rooms keep getting smaller and smaller.

Overheard by: The Pastry Chef

The Blessings of the Temple

2008-08-03T22:19:00.003-06:00

EQ Instructor: My wife loves the temple... She really does. Last week we went and when we got home... all I can say is that it was like a second honeymoon.

Overheard by: TempleForeplay

Ask a Silly Question...

2008-08-03T22:17:00.002-06:00

Primary President in Sharing time: When we are Baptized, we have to go all the way under the water. Does anyone know what that is called?
8 year old: It's called immersion.
PP: Yes! So then when we are baptized by immersion, we need to...
4 year old: Hold our breath!

Overheard by: The Sunbeam Herder

And His Breath Stinks Too

2008-07-30T15:07:00.004-06:00

Teacher: What are some of the things are parents help teach us?
Child #1: They teach us to use good language.
Child #2: Yeah, my uncle has a hard time with that!

Overgeard by: Charity Never Faileth

Oh Yeah... It's the Pointy Ears!

2008-07-27T12:53:00.002-06:00

Guy to Friend: Does the bishop look like batman to you?
Guy #2: What are you talking about ?
Guy #1: You know... the new batman... not the tight wearing one...

Overheard by: Robin

How to Get 25 Instant Volunteers

2008-07-26T13:19:00.003-06:00

Bishop to Fifth Sunday School Class: Now... we still need one more priesthood holder to go up to camp and sleep with the young women...

Submitted by: Count me in!

Well That Doesn't Explain The Drunken Stumble

2008-07-25T12:49:00.002-06:00

YSA #1 During Sacrament Meeting: Oh good! I just love these little shots of water they pass out.
YSA #2: Gee, we're at church... not a bar.

Overheard by: JK

And Help Us To Get Home Safely

2008-07-22T11:53:00.003-06:00

Primary First Councilor: If every time you said a prayer in church you said, "Please don't let us run in the halls", would that mean you were sincere or are you just saying what you always say?
[later...]
Closing Prayer by 10-year-old: ...Please don't let us run in the halls... [long silent pause] ... Uh, Amen!

Overheard by: Chris

Pour Some Sugar On The Apricot Tree?

2008-07-21T10:18:00.002-06:00

Primary Chorister: Jenna, you get to choose to sing your favorite song... What is it?
Jenna: Def Leppard
Primary Chorister: Okay, how about your favorite PRIMARY song?

Overheard by: KitchenDitcher

Yes, But Most Go By Hank

2008-07-16T20:59:00.000-06:00

Primary Children Singing: I wonder when He comes again, will herald angels sing?
Confused Sunbeam to Teacher: Are all angels named Harold?

Overheard by: Shanana

The Trouble With Consonants

2008-07-16T10:20:00.000-06:00

Fire Truck Outside Chapel during the quiet stillness of the passing of the sacrament: [Loud Sirens]
Child in Pew: A fire f**k! A fire f**k!

Overheard by: Everyone in Sacrament Meeting

She Works Them Into Every Conversation

2008-07-15T10:35:00.002-06:00

Sister Doe #1: Your shirt is very cute. I have one very similar.
Sister Doe #2: Did you get yours from "Victoria's Secret?"
Sister Doe #1: No, from "New York and Company."
Sister Doe #2: Yeah, I never used to shop there because I never used to wear a bra, but I got new boobs, so it's kind of fun!
Sister Doe #1: Well, um, congrats!
Sister Doe #2: Yeah, it might be TMI, but I'm not ashamed! I love my new boobs! They're so perky and big now!
Sister Doe #1: That's great! Your husband must be very happy. Want to share my hymnbook?

Overheard by: Good To Know

Make-A-Title

2008-07-09T10:07:00.006-06:00

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Primary Teacher: What will you ask Jesus when he comes back?
Sunbeam: I will ask him were Santa Claus is.

Overheard by: EZ Bake Oven

Don't Even Think About Mentioning Her Weight

2008-07-07T16:16:00.003-06:00

Sunday School Teacher to Older Woman: Sister Smith, are you as old as your husband?
Sister Smith: Don't ever say that, or I'll hit you in the face!

Overheard by: It's Good to be Fugal

Meanwhile at the OCD 10th Ward

2008-06-23T09:53:00.004-06:00

Sister #1: I never take a sacrament cup from the middle... those are the drippy cups.
Sister #2: What do you mean?
Sister #1: They are the ones that get dripped in after someone takes a drink and is putting the used cup in the slot.

Overheard by: Oh! That's why they have more water!

Our Weekly Waterboarding Activity

2008-06-15T13:43:00.002-06:00

Relief Society President: We have enrichment meeting this week. It won't be fun, but we want you to come anyway.

Overheard by: The Anti-Scrapper

And The Windows?

2008-06-10T21:43:00.002-06:00

Primary President: What do you know about Temples?
CTR girl: I've heard that they're so clean you could eat off the floor.
PP: Well, they are buildings that are kept really clean. But do you know another way Temples are clean?
CTR girl: The bathrooms!

Overheard by: Angie

Fresh From the Hollywood First Ward

2008-06-08T18:27:00.004-06:00

Primary President in sharing time: When we're married in the Temple, we are married for time and all eternity. Do you know how long that is?
4 year old: About 15 hours.

Overheard by: the Sunbeam Herder

Starring Tina Fey as Lehi's Wife

2008-06-08T12:37:00.004-06:00

Sunday School Teacher: What other world leaders can we compare to the wicked King Noah?
Class Member #1: Nicolae Ceaucescu
Class Member #2: Pol Pot
Class Member #3: Kim Jong Il
#3's Friend: Wow, how did you know that?
Class Member #3: I saw him on Saturday Night Live.

Overheard by: Mel Gibson's Girlfriend

When Elvis Goes to Primary

2008-06-05T21:49:00.004-06:00

Primary Chorister: Let's all thank Dalyn for his interesting rendition of "Do As I'm Doing." Unfortunately, his one man show has been cancelled and we won't be seeing that again anytime soon.

Overheard by: Oh My Eyes!

Just imagine what I'll look like in the resurrection

2008-05-25T18:48:00.002-06:00

Sunbeam teacher: When we lived in heaven with Heavenly Father we were spirits, and when we came to earth, Heavenly Father gave us our bodies.
Sunbeam: Yeah, and I'm big and SEXY!"

Overheard by: The Sunbeam Herder

PC Never Had a Chance

2008-05-25T14:08:00.003-06:00

Little Boy: Is that your computer? It's beautiful!
Adult: It's a Mac.
Little Boy: I have a computer. It's Bob the Builder. But my sister lost the batteries.

Overheard by: MacGirl

The Rains Came Down and the Grass Grew Up

2008-05-12T08:20:00.000-06:00

Primary Teacher: Did any of YOUR parents build a house on sand??
Children: Nooooooooo
Sunbeam: Our house is built on grass!

Overheard by: Susie

I Love Welfare Projects!

2008-05-11T15:06:00.004-06:00

EQP: We need four volunteers for a welfare project... Would any of the sisters like to pack some meat?

Overheard by: Brother Johnson

Your Hair Spray Smells Great

2008-05-11T15:01:00.004-06:00

Older Brother handing can of air freshener to wife: Will you please spray my hair again? I want to bear my testimony and I don't want to look silly up there.

Overheard by: Chris

Ryan Seacrest's Mom is the Bomb

2008-05-11T13:17:00.002-06:00

Youth Speaker #1: My mom is the best because even though it was David Archuleta Day and she really wanted to go to the shenanigans, she came to my soccer game instead.

Youth Speaker #2: My mom is the best because she rearranged all of her plans so she could go to David Archuleta Day with me.

Overheard by: Voted for Brooke.

My Mouth is the Sink

2008-04-20T20:10:00.003-06:00

Teacher: Like our bodies, the church has many offices, and they each have a special function.

Overheard by: And My Butt is the Garbage Disposal

Home Run!

2008-04-13T19:45:00.002-06:00

Mother at Stake Dance: 1st base is having your arms around each other or holding hands. 2nd base is kissing.
3rd base... well... we don't even talk about 3rd base.

Overheard by: Pete Rose

And there is this place in Germany...

2008-04-13T19:41:00.002-06:00

Priest pointing to Toulouse on a map of France: My brother just got his call to Toulouse.
Laural: Hmm.. That's funny... Too loose.

Overheard by: Bomb Voyage

And I Think He Is The Ward Choir Director

2008-04-09T21:29:00.002-06:00

Son: Mom, is Jesus going to be at Jacob's baptism?
Mom: Oh honey, I don't think so.
Son: Oh that's right... He is in a different ward.

Overheard by: Alexafabulous

It's All About the War in Heaven

2008-04-06T22:31:00.003-06:00

Boy holding cards of the apostles: Hey, lets play war!

Overheard by: Mother of future poker champion

She Must Really Hate Bad Weather

2008-04-01T10:04:00.001-06:00

Primary Teacher: And so, hail rained down from the sky upon Egypt.
Sunbeam: Hail! I know that word, my mom is always saying 'What the freaking hail!'

Overheard by: Charity Never Faileth

Chanel Porcine

2008-03-31T13:57:00.001-06:00

Guy: Mmmmm, mmmmmm. You smell like pork.
Chick: Haha, I just took the ham out of the oven.
Guy: Mmmmmm. Now thats perfume.

Overheard by: Ba Con

Make-A-Title

2008-03-31T12:01:00.002-06:00

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Bitter: I mean the only reason the Bishop wants to give YOUR sister a calling is cause he's trying to 'save her.'
Sister: Uh... yeah... thanks.

Overheard by: Charity Never Faileth

And as Jeff Foxworthy says...

2008-03-29T11:01:00.003-06:00

EQP on Delaying Day of Repentance: Larry the Cable Guy said it best when he said "Git-R-Done."

Overheard by: Engaval

And a crochet hook.

2008-03-25T13:46:00.004-06:00

EQP: For our activity on Saturday we will be serving a Krispy Kreme breakfast... oh, and remember to bring a box of 12 gauge or 50 calibur shells.

Overheard by: Bumper

You should see what I do with terrycloth!

2008-03-25T08:48:00.000-06:00

Sister: I was babysitting my sisters kids, so I was going through her drawers. She cut her old jeans into a thong...a denim thong!

Overheard by: Denim Murf

The Quick and Crying Meeting

2008-03-23T15:25:00.004-06:00

Happy Primary Kid: You know how sometimes grown-ups cry when they talk at church? It's cause they're testimoaning.

Overheard by: Weeping Willow

And to use soap.

2008-03-22T11:52:00.000-06:00

Sunbeam: Jesus told us not to bite our fingernails.

Overheard by: Rico

Because I'm into Hygiene

2008-03-21T08:45:00.001-06:00

YSA: I have never seen anyone pull out floss from their purse and use it in the middle of a conversation. I mean...no offense...merely observational.

Overheard by: Waterpik

Help, he's repenting me.

2008-03-10T12:45:00.002-06:00

Primary 1st Counselor: So what is repentance again?
CTR5 boy: When you hit someone!

Overheard by: Charity Never Faileth

And it has a picture of Spiderman

2008-03-10T09:02:00.002-06:00

Sunbeam Dropping Pants: Hey, look! I'm wearing big boy underwear!

Overheard by: The Sunbeam Herder

It looks like a steeple.

2008-03-10T08:58:00.001-06:00

Sunbeam to Primary President in Sharing Time: Did you know that you can put your middle finger up?

Overheard by: The Sunbeam Herder

Where Ben is Like Lucifer and Jack is Like Moses

2008-03-09T19:39:00.002-06:00

Youth Speaker on Life: It's like that TV series LOST - it keeps going on and on and nothing makes sense, but someday hopefully everything's going to be explained and it will all make sense and I can get on with my life.

Overheard by: Stephsterr

Ya start with the easy stuff.

2008-03-07T14:17:00.001-07:00

Girl bearing her testimony: I know that... oh, my name is *Jessica. [laughter] I know that my name is Jessica, and I know that this church is true...

Overheard by: Mer

And don't get me started on your thighs.

2008-03-07T08:52:00.001-07:00

Child from inside bathroom stall: Mom. Your bum covers the WHOLE seat!

Overheard by: One Stall Over